Trivia Night has all the answers

By Charlie Russo

Question: What is Trivia Night?

Answer: An evening where people pit their knowledge of pop culture and academia against each other in a game for points and money prizes - with maybe a pint or two along the way. Worth investigating, I thought.

The Old Timer in Clinton began hosting Trivia Night on Tuesdays in early November. In the game, teams of up to five players match wits against each other in four rounds of questions. Prizes, like tshirts and gift certificates, go to the top four teams. Winners of the bonus round get cash. Most nights the crowd starts trickling in around 6:30 p.m. or so to get ready for the night's competition. Tables and seats are claimed, and players warm up with cigarettes and pints. Traditional Irish music plays in the background.

Question: Are the competitors more interested in the trivia questions or in the pints?

Answer: Time will tell. Many of the faces in the crowd are weekly regulars. And even though the competition is cerebral, not physical, that doesn't diminish the sense of competition. "We won the last two weeks, so we need to defend our title," said player Annee Covino, of the team Snap, Crackle and Pop. My partner and I call our team Rocky and Bullwinkle and settle in for some fun, because even if the competition is fierce, the game's regulars keep it lighthearted. Elsewhere in the bar, catcalls and mindgames between the regulars play out before the actual game begins.

"You playing trivia tonight? With Frank?" a man asks. "OK." "You know what you're in for?" his teammate chuckles.

On this night, host Joel Bates gives out the first-ever Trivia Night award - a large water bottle container - for a participant who was "indisposed" in the bathroom the week before when the final answers were due and held up the game.

Around start time, the buzz of conversation is broken by the Monday night football theme, signaling the beginning of the game. Bates, whose day job is as assistant principal of the Florence- Sawyer Elementary School in Bolton, announces the questions, which each team must bid 1, 3, 5, or 7 points on, and then turn in before the music ends. However, veteran teams sometimes stall, as the songs often hint to the answer, so they delay turning in their answer as long as possible in hopes of finding some clue in the music.

Question: Finish the title of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's book, Love in the Time of - ? The song "Tainted Love" plays, a possible tip off to the answer: Cholera. Players eye one another, sizing up their chances against the other teams. Did that team drop off their answer with a grin, a grimace, or a shrug? Hmmm. Lots of guys on that team, so they should do well on the sports questions. And the questions continue.

Question: What was the original name of the New York Jets? The song "The Jet Song" from West Side Story plays, followed by "Bennie and the Jets," by Elton John. Neither song helps with the answer: the Titans. End of round one. End of first beer. Time for round two. And the second round of questions.

Question: What body part does subungual refer to? "Hey, this is a family game," cries out scorekeeper Dawn McNally after reading one team's answer. Last time I checked, the answer, toenails, was G-rated. Well, maybe PG in some cases. Moving along. Halfway through round three and I've just finished my second beer. I'm falling behind. Even worse, the team is tied for last place.

Question: What are the four most common surnames in the United States? "Think about around here, Clinton and Lancaster," Bates advises. "Well, no. Don't do that," he cracks, to chuckles from the crowd. In the third and fourth rounds the competition heats up, as the bid points double to 2, 4, 6 and 8. Players hunch over their tables, heads huddled together. Players chew their fingernails, rub their foreheads, massage their temples. They sweat until the answers are called for. Some teams stall until they hear Bates call out, "OK, and the answer is ..." as a player runs across the room to deliver the team's answer before the deadline.

Question: What author's book inspired Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA? "Oh, don't worry," McNally says, pointing to a nearby table, "these guys don't read." Players mutter about the Vietnam War as Springsteen's song plays. "Son, don'tcha understand?" the Boss wails. No Bruce, we don't. But the people who came up with Ron Kovic's Born on the Fourth of July do.

Question: Are the questions always this hard?

Answer: "They vary," Covino says. "Some weeks are impossible. Last week we got Simpsons and Star Trek questions." I don't think I would have done any better that week. I never knew Marge's sister Thelma was married four times, much less what all four of her married last names are.

Question: How'd the night go?

Answer: Three beers over four rounds of trivia in two hours, for a second-to-last place finish. Not bad. And the questions were fun, too.

(This article originally appeared in the 1/30/03 edition of The Lancaster Times & Clinton Courier.)