Ugly Tuna Trivia
If it's a Tuesday night, I can usually be found
playing Tuesday Night Trivia at the Old Timer in Clinton. Trivia
Master Joel plays cool music while asking the questions, and
teams of up to five people have the length of a song to come up
with
an answer. Each of the 20 questions is assigned a point value,
and the goal is to garner the most points.
The following is a
diary of my trivia experience this past Tuesday night.
6:25pm:
Trivia doesn't start until 7pm, but I show up early to grab a
booth for
our team. The only factor in table selection is a clear view
of the television sets for monitoring of the Red Sox game.
Nick the
Bartender pours me a cold Smithwicks Ale and I order some
pre-game nachos. Nachos and beer are crucial to a successful trivia
experience.
6:45pm:
My sister Lauri and her husband Dave show up. Dave happens
to be wearing a t-shirt that advertises the Ugly Tuna Saloona
(located
in Fort Lauderdale). Our team is immediately dubbed Ugly
Tuna.
Our best team name was probably "Chicago has a New Achilles Heel",
which we used when Nomar Garciaparra and his troublesome leg were
traded to the Cubs.
7:04pm: The last member of our team, The Megger
(my wife), shows up just as Trivia Master Joel is reading
the rules. Joel tells us that for the next 11 weeks, each winning
team will
qualify for a special trivia tournament. He tells us that
a team named the Polish Intelligence Agency (PIA) qualified by
winning
last week.
Ugly Tuna is ready. We want to qualify for that
tournament. The pressure is on.
Ok, honestly, there is no pressure.
This is
Tuesday night bar trivia, for crying out loud.
7:10pm: The
first question: What state is the geographic center of the 48
contiguous United States?We toss around a few guesses until The
Megger
recognizes
that the song being played is by the Jayhawks. Trivia Master
Joel gives hints like that sometimes. We go with Kansas, which
proves
to be correct. The confidence level is high.
7:15pm: The
next question brings us back to earth: What is the first name
of the
Keebler
Elf?
We take a shot in the dark and say Arthur, but it's Ernie.
Who knows this stuff?
7:30pm: The first round was pretty
good, 2 for
4, but then we get the bonus question: Which band gets
its name from a 1925 Sinclair Lewis novel? The Megger
says, "I think
it's Aerosmith," but she is outvoted and we guess Alice in
Chains. In retrospect, Alice in Chains sounds a little risqué for
a 1925 novel.
The answer, of course, is Aerosmith (the novel was
Arrowsmith). The Megger is only slightly grumpy.After
the first round, Ugly Tuna has 18 points, and is in 4th place out
of 6 teams.
8:00pm:
In the second round, the questions were still very difficult.
Bruce Springsteen was playing when Trivia Master Joel asked us
to name
the wind that blows down the eastern slope of the Rocky
Mountains. Unfortunately, it was not the E-Street wind, but rather
the Chinook
wind. Hmph.
Despite our whiff on the wind question, we
manage to gain ground, and after round two, we are in second
place behind
a team called "To
Win Just Once". Oh, and the Red Sox are losing to
the Devil Rays.
8:30pm: In round three, we get Geena Davis'
film debut (Tootsie),
the country that has Abu Dhabi as its capital (United
Arab Emirates), and the teams in the first Super
Bowl (Packers and Chiefs), but
we miss the fact that Paul David Huson later changed
his name to Bono.
After three rounds, Ugly Tuna is
5 points down to the To Win
Just Once team. Our traditional rivals, the Black
and Tans, are missing one of their key members and are not
a threat this week.
8:45pm:
What was the capital of France before the French
Revolution? Our team boils it down to either Marseilles or
Versailles. Lauri mentions
that the national anthem of France is The Song
of Marseilles.
We
guess Marseilles (because of the anthem) and
it is Versailles. Crucial miss.The next question: Which TV character
had
a dog named Spunky?
Does ANYONE know this? We
have
no idea and guess Eddie from
The Courtship of Eddie's Father.
The answer
is Fonzie from Happy Days. No one in the Old Timer knows it,
so we all
toast
each other
to
celebrate.
The game
continues and we miss another question.
The fourth round
is not going well
for Ugly Tuna, but somehow we were only
down by 5 points when the
final bonus question was posed.
Based
on land area, what is the largest country in Central America?
We
bid 20
points and guess
Nicaragua.
And we are
right. Trivia Master
Joel reads the final standings:
4.
The Pats Fans
3. The Quahog of Champions
2. The Dirty Old Men and a Maiden
And
the Champion for September
14th at the Old
Timer in Clinton
is...drum roll please...Ugly
Tuna! We win! We qualify for
the tournament! Woo Hoo...
I
mean, ahem,
no big deal. It's only bar
trivia. What's important is that the
Red Sox lost.
© 2004 Tim McCaffrey
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